The most interesting thing about me is that I am the definition of a contradiction. My mind changes so often with every thought or situation, that I can’t even keep up. I’m a little crazy I guess. I have learned many things by being this way, and in a way it has made me wise, at least I like to think so. But I am still young, only 20, and I forget that. I lack many experiences that come with age, but I always seem to force maturity in myself. Honestly I’m not sure why. My mind tells me one thing, while my actions tell me another. Generally I am okay being this way, if I am looking at it selfishly, but I understand how terribly confusing this can be for someone else. I respect that. I am a mess, but I am working on it.
The reason for my solidarity, is for the pondering of the emotions that I experience. When I experience an emotion without any acknowledgment of what they are, or the exact reason of its derivative, it scares me, anything that I don’t know scares me. I prefer to learn and listen. I like that. I am a viewer, as of now. I learn from the best to reach my success, I want success, I want fame and I want those to respect me for my accomplishments. Just watch me, I’ll make a difference. Who said weed made you in different of these things….
I sit enclosed in my room thinking about my fathers disgrace and the mutual life of his that followed, abused, misused, we were both victims and that is the story. So simply stated with the biggest formula for disaster, stained our skin and burnt our mind, like a cigarette, slowly destroying every cell in the body. Its cancer drifts to subconscious, terrorizing every thought, it will never go away. So many stung by this poison and now we have it too. When will the world stop? I beg you stop! It hurts, it pains and stains, “Dad will it ever go away?” I was rapped.
My confessions consist of melodies of pleasure that are imprinted in the birth between the dirt and sky. Where the space of my thoughts are up high into a corner near the bright light of eternity. So infinite and yet its significance signifies none. These are my thoughts and feelings, a couple of cords away from my interpretations. Only music can express what words cannot. Because in music derives the nature of our world. Its like a black whole for beauty, so dense of knowledge derived from the intelligence of sound. These facts are what make me think, the pleasure of beauty you know?